Binge Free 365 Days!!

The last binge I had was on June 7, 2013….. I have been ‘Binge Free’ for a year.

 

June 7^th is our family ‘Gotcha Day’, the day we received our youngest daughter from China, so it is always a day of celebration in our house.   I don’t even remember what I ate last year, but the next day I was so determined to stop the vicious cycle of losing weight only to gain it back and more after a prolonged binge period.   I hated the control food had over me.  I couldn’t just eat 1 cookie, I had to eat a dozen and then follow it up with ice cream and then maybe pizza for dinner followed by more sweets….   I loved the taste and texture of what I was eating and the high that I would feel during, but I hated the way I would feel waking up the next morning.. sick from the sugar and processed junk and the guilt would send me into a depression.  And to think I have been doing this since I was a kid.    It wasn’t until I started listening to the Half Size Me podcast in Aug of 2012 that I even considered I had a binge eating issue and that I could do something about it.    It took some time, but as Heather simply states, ‘It’s Possible’, to do something and change. 

 

In Aug of 2012, I would say I was at my all time low emotionally.  5 years prior, I had done a crazy fast and got down to my lowest adult weight.  It felt great, but it didn’t last.  Each year I gained more and more and it was in  Aug 2012 that I realized I had gained back all that I lost on the fast.  I was so depressed and for the first time in my life I actually hated myself. Fortunately for me I stumbled across HSM and things started to change.  Listening to the various success stories inspired me to look at what I was doing and how I could change.  I realized I was not alone, that many women like me had this issue.  I started to analyze my binges to identify triggers that set them off.  More often than not, it was simply because I was tired.  I would turn to the sweet stuff to give me energy and then it would spiral out of control.  I attended the first HSM Binge Eating 101 course in late 2012.  I wasn’t strong at the time to try to stop the binges, but I learned I could implement a post binge plan that would stop it from spreading over a number of days.  I stopped getting upset at myself and accepted the fact that I have an issue I need to work through.  As time went by, I got stronger and stronger until I made the decision to quit the binges on June 8, 2013.  

 

I discovered along the way that cravings are the result of a biochemical reaction in our system.  There are certain foods that exacerbate this reaction, including sugar and processed foods.  It doesn’t matter how much willpower a person has, the cravings can be tough if not impossible to ignore.  Everyone has different intolerances to certain foods, and for me it is sweets.  I just can’t control myself.   So for me, the trick was to eliminate sugar and processed foods from my diet.  I was no longer living the 80 / 20 rule where 80% of the time you eat ‘clean’, I was 100% eating clean, whole foods, no sugar, nothing processed.  I feel amazing and the binges have disappeared!

 

Now that I’ve hit this milestone, the timeline is no longer needed.  I do not feel I need to count the days since my last binge because I am finally at peace with food.  Although at times I still get the familiar anxious feeling that would have lead to the serious overeating, I have enough confidence and self efficacy to get through it and not binge.  My mindset has completely changed about food too.  It’s all about how it will make me feel physically, not emotionally. It’s about fueling my body to do the fun things in life. I am not perfect by any means and I’m still a work in progress, but I have never felt more comfortable in my skin.  I did lose just over 20 lbs and I managed to get my A1c level down from the pre-diabetic state of 5.8 to a normal 5.4 this year, but the best part is I like myself again, and for this I am truly grateful.