A question was recently asked on the Half Size Me Community about failure… have you failed recently and what are you going to do about it? This got me to thinking…. Hummm…
I have been failing… at weight loss. I got back on the scale last Sept after about a year or so with my head in the sand. I was up about 20 lbs from my last set point (I hung out in the 180’s for a long time.. oh to be back there now). I’ve been working on it, addressing my issues with binge eating, but I am only down 3 lbs from the number on the scale last Sept. I am still 4.8 lbs from that 200 mark. It’s been so frustrating!!
It’s difficult for me to fail… I don’t like it, but I do usually learn a lot from it. I‘ve trained for and completed 16 tri’s and 7 half marathons in the past 5 years, but I failed to keep the weight off and failing to take it off. I’ve been successful at my career , so much so that we can live on a single income so my husband can be at home with the kids, buy a bigger house and keep the 1st for my parents to rent, and travel to China to adopt our lovely Michelle (failed to conceive a 2nd time, but another door opened). I’ve formed the best relationships with my closest friends, so much that they are more like brothers and sisters to me. I truly feel I have had a blessed life. But why do I fail at weight loss? I think it is Fear!
2 weeks ago I conquered a fear of doing an open water tri. I was so anxious over the silliest things.. cold water temp, not being in a wetsuit, fish in the lake…. But yet I still had fear. It was real. But I got over it by doing it. I did not pull out of the race. I jumped in and swam to each buoy. When I started to drift of course, I caught sight of the buoy and corrected my stroke. When other swimmers bumped into me, I hit them back harder. Not really, just having a giggle. I got out of their way. That experience was so empowering. I started to think about what other fears I have… Then it hit me. I have a fear that I will not lose weight. I will be at this weight or more for the rest of my life. I tried it before and failed to keep it off. I think I am afraid to get under 200, only to bounce back up over it yet again.
So the question is what am I going to do about it? Face the fear and smash it! I need to make this my absolute #1 priority! I need to focus on my eating. Stop the cheating. Log my food. Keep my exercise consistent because it helps my mental health. Incorporate weight training in addition to my cardio workouts. Look for inspirational stories to keep me motivated. Stay positive! I can do this and I will do this!
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